Hari abantu batekereza ko nta mubyeyi ujya ashimira umwana mu buryo bukabije. Abandi bo bumva ko umwana uhora ashimagizwa aba umutesi, akumva ko akomeye, mbese akibwira ko isi yose ari iye.

Uretse kuba ugomba kumenya urugero wagezamo ushimira umwana wawe, wagombye no kumenya ibyo wamushimira. None se ni ibiki wamushimira bikamugirira akamaro, bityo bigatuma arushaho gukora neza? Ni ibiki wamushimira bikamugiraho ingaruka?

Burya rero, abantu bashimira mu buryo butandukanye kandi abashimirwa na bo ntibabyakira kimwe. Reka turebe ukuntu ibyo ari ukuri.

Gushimagiza umwana bishobora kumwangiza. Hari ababyeyi bashimira abana babo no mu gihe bidakwiriye, bibwira ko ibyo bizatuma abo bana barushaho kwigirira icyizere. Ariko Dogiteri David Walsh yagize ati “abana bazi kwitegereza, bakamenya niba umuntu abashimiye abikuye ku mutima cyangwa niba abashyeshyenga. Baba bazi ko ubashimiye batabikwiriye kandi ibyo bishobora gutuma bagutakariza icyizere.” *

Gushimira umwana bitewe n’ubushobozi afite ni byiza. Reka tuvuge ko umukobwa wawe ari umuhanga mu gushushanya. Birumvikana ko ushobora kubimushimira, kuko bizatuma yongera ubuhanga bwe. Ariko ibyo bishobora kumugiraho ingaruka. Kumushimira bitewe gusa n’uko afite ubuhanga runaka, bishobora gutuma yumva ko agomba kwita ku bintu bimworohera gusa. Nanone bishobora gutuma atinya kwiga ibintu bishya, yumva ko atazabishobora. Ashobora gutekereza ati “ubundi se ko ibi bintu bigoye, biranduhiriza iki?”

Gushimira umwana bitewe n’imihati ashyiraho ni byiza kurushaho. Umubyeyi akwiriye gushimira umwana bitewe n’imihati ashyiraho n’ukuntu yihangana, aho kumushimira kubera  ubuhanga bwe. Ibyo bituma yibonera ko kugira ubuhanga runaka bisaba imihati no kwihangana. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “iyo abana bamenye ko uzirikana imihati bashyiraho, bituma bakora iyo bwabaga kugira ngo bagere ku cyo bifuza. N’iyo bananiwe kugera ku kintu runaka, ntibumva ko ari ibigwari, ahubwo bumva ko uwiga agomba kugira ibyo yica.”—Letting Go With Love and Confidence.

Jya ushimira umwana imihati ashyiraho aho kumushimira ubuhanga afite. Kubwira umwana uti “mbona ukora uko ushoboye ngo umenye gushushanya,” ni byiza kuruta kumubwira uti “gushushanya bikuri mu maraso.” Yego ibyo byombi ni ugushimira, ariko kumubwira ko bimuri mu maraso bishobora gutuma yumva ko gushushanya ari byo byonyine ashoboye.

Iyo ushimira umwana imihati ashyiraho, uba umwereka ko ashobora kongera ubuhanga bwe. Ibyo bishobora gutuma yiga ibintu bishya, kandi akumva ko azabishobora.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 14:23.

Jya umwihanganisha mu gihe hari ibyamunaniye. Abantu beza na bo bakora amakosa, bakaba banayasubiramo kenshi (Imigani 24:16). Ariko iyo bamaze kuyakora bisubiraho bikabigisha byinshi, ubundi ubuzima bugakomeza. Wakora iki ngo ufashe umwana wawe kwigirira icyizere?

Jya wibanda ku mihati ashyiraho. Reka dufate urugero. Tuvuge ko ukunda kubwira umukobwa wawe uti “imibare ikuri mu maraso,’ nyuma akaza gutsindwa ikizamini cy’imibare. Ashobora kwibwira ati “ubundi se ko natsinzwe, hari ikindi nakora ngo nongere gutsinda?”

Iyo wibanze ku mihati umwana ashyiraho, bituma amenya kwihangana, kandi hagira ibintu bimunanira ntiyumve ko yagushije ishyano cyangwa ko nta cyo azageraho. Aho guterera iyo ngo ntashoboye ikintu runaka, azagikora mu bundi buryo cyangwa yongere imbaraga agikorana.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Yakobo 3:2.

Jya umugira inama zimwubaka. Iyo inama zitanzwe neza, zifasha umwana aho kumurakaza. Nanone iyo ushimiye umwana buri gihe kandi ukabikora mu gihe gikwiriye, ahora yiteguye kwakira inama zamufasha kugira icyo anonosora. Ibyo azageraho bizatuma yishima kandi nawe agushimishe.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 13:4.