“Heʻikai te u lava ʻe au!” ko e tangi ia ho kiʻi fohá. “ʻOku fuʻu faingataʻa! ʻOku ʻikai pē ke u ʻilo ʻe au ha meʻa!” ʻOkú ne foʻi vave ʻi hono fakahoko ha ngāue faingataʻa. ʻOku ʻikai ke ke fiefia ʻi he sio ki he faingataʻaʻia ho kiʻi fohá, ka ʻokú ke loto ke ne ako ki he founga ke ikuʻi ai ʻa e ngaahi polé. ʻOku totonu ke ke fakavave ʻo tokoni? ʻOku totonu ke ke fakaʻatā ia ke ne foʻi? Pe ʻe lava ke ke akoʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke kītaki?

 Mātuʻaki mahuʻinga ʻa e kītakí. ʻI hono akoʻi ʻe ha ongo mātuʻa ʻena kiʻi tamá ke ne fakatupulekina ʻene ngaahi malavá fakafou ʻi he ngāue mālohí, ʻoku ngalingali ʻe lelei ange ʻene akó, fiefia mo moʻui lelei pea maʻu ha ngaahi kaungāmeʻa lelei ange. ʻI hono kehé, ʻi he ʻikai fakaʻatā ʻe ha ongo mātuʻa ʻena kiʻi tamá ke ne hokosia ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻá mo e taʻelavameʻá, ʻoku ngalingali te ne hoko ʻo loto-mafasia, te ne fakakaukau ʻoku ʻikai pē poto ia ʻi ha meʻa, pea moʻui faingataʻaʻia ʻi heʻene fuʻu lahí.

 Ko e kītakí ʻe lava ke fakaivimālohiʻi. Naʻa mo e fānau īkí ʻe lava ke nau fakaivimālohiʻi ʻenau fakapapau ke fakahoko ha ngāue ʻoku faingataʻa pea fakaleleiʻi ʻa e ngaahi palopalemá. ʻI ha fekumi ʻe taha, naʻe ʻilo ʻe he kau fakatotoló ko e fanga kiʻi pēpē taʻu taha māhina tolú te nau feinga mālohi ke fakahoko ha ngāue faingataʻa ʻo kapau pē te nau ʻuluaki sio ki he feinga mālohi ha tokotaha lahi ke fakahoko ʻa e ngāué kae ʻikai ko e nofo noa pē.

 “ʻOku ou manatuʻi hono akoʻi ʻema ongo tamaiki fefiné ki he founga ke haʻi ai hona suú. ʻOku ʻikai ko ha pōtoʻi ia te ke ako hake pē ʻi ha ʻaho ʻe taha. ʻI he taimi te na haʻi ai hona suú, te na tangutu ʻi ha miniti ʻe 10 ki he 15 ʻo fakamanatu ʻa e founga ke fai ai iá. Teu toki tokoni leva kiate kinaua. Naʻá na feinga ke fai eni ʻi ha laui māhina pea aʻu ʻo na tangi ka naʻe faai atu pē ʻo na lava ʻo haʻi hona suú. Naʻe mei faingofua ange ʻeku fakatau mai ha sū ʻoku ʻikai hano meʻa haʻi. Ka ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi, naʻa mo kitautolu mātuʻá, ʻoku fiemaʻu ke tau kītaki kae lava ke tau akoʻi ʻetau fānaú ke nau hoko ʻo kītaki.”​—Colleen.

 Ko e kītakí ʻe lava ke vaivai. Ko e ngaahi mātuʻa ʻe niʻihi te nau fakasiʻia fāinoa nai ʻa e malava ke kītaki ʻenau fānaú. Anga-fēfē? Koeʻuhi ko e loto ko ia ʻa e mātuʻá ke ongoʻi lelei ʻenau fānaú, ʻoku fakavave ʻa e niʻihi ke tokoniʻi kinautolu ke ʻoua te nau ongoʻi loto-mamahi pe ongoʻi taʻelavameʻa. Ka ko hono fai ení ʻoku ʻikai ke lelei maʻu pē. “ʻI he taimi kotoa pē ʻoku tau tokoniʻi ai . . . ʻetau fānaú mei ha pole,” ko e hiki ia ʻa e faʻutohi ko Jessica Lahey, “ʻoku tau ʻoatu ai ha pōpoaki mahino: ʻoku tau tui ʻoku nau taʻefeʻunga, taʻelavameʻa pea ʻikai tuha mo ʻetau falalá.” a Ko e hā ʻa e olá? ʻE foʻi vave nai ʻa e fānaú ʻi he fepaki mo e ngaahi pole ʻi he kahaʻú, ʻi he tui ʻoku nau fiemaʻu ha tokotaha lahi ke tokoniʻi maʻu pē kinautolu.

 Fakalototoʻaʻi ʻa e ngāue mālohí. ʻE lava ke akoʻi ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻá ʻenau fānaú ke kītaki ʻaki hono vaheʻi ange ha fanga kiʻi ngāue ʻoku feʻunga mo kinautolu. Ko e fakatātaá, ko e fanga kiʻi fānau ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e taʻu tolu ki he nima ʻe lava ke nau tokoni ki hono fakafaʻahinga ʻa e foó pea fakamaau ʻenau meʻa vaʻingá. Ko e fanga kiʻi fānau ʻoku nau kiʻi lalahi haké ʻe lava ke nau tokoni ʻi hono fetuku ʻa e fakataú, fokotuʻutuʻu mo fakamaau ʻa e tēpile kaí, ʻave ʻa e vevé ki tuʻa pea olo ha meʻa naʻe mahua. Ko e toʻutupú ʻe lava ke nau fakahoko ha ngāue ʻoku lahi angé ʻo hangē ko e fakamaʻa, tauhi pe tokangaʻi ʻa e ngaahi meʻá mo e ngāue monomonó. ʻOku ʻikai ke saiʻia ʻa e fānaú ke nau fai maʻu pē ha ngāue, ka te nau maʻu ʻaonga ʻi he taimi ʻoku vaheʻi ange ai ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻá ha fanga kiʻi ngāue ke tokoni ʻi ʻapi ʻi heʻenau kei īkí. ʻOku anga-fēfē maʻu ʻaonga ʻa e fānaú? ʻOku nau ako ai ke ngāue mālohi pea ʻe tokoniʻi ai kinautolu ke ʻoua te nau foʻi ʻi he ngaahi ngāue faingataʻá ʻi heʻenau fuʻu lahí.

 Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapú: “ʻOku ʻaonga ʻa e faʻahinga kotoa pē ʻo e ngāue mālohí.”​—Palōveepi 14:23.

 “ʻOua ʻe fakamoleki ʻa e taimí ʻaki hono ʻoange ki he fānaú ʻa e ngāue koeʻuhi pē ke nau femoʻuekina ai. ʻOku ʻikai ha taha ʻe saiʻia ai, naʻa mo e fānaú. ʻOange kiate kinautolu ha ngāue ʻaonga ke nau tokoni ai. Kapau ko hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻoku kei siʻi, ʻe lava ke ne olo efu ʻa e naunau fale ʻoku lava ke ne aʻu ki aí. Kapau ʻokú ke fufulu meʻalele, ʻe lava ke ne fufulu ʻa e konga ki lalo ʻoku faingataʻa ke ke aʻu ki aí. Fakavave leva ke fakaongoongoleleiʻi ʻa e ngāue mālohi hoʻo kiʻi tamá.”​—Chris.

 Fakahinohinoʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻi he ngaahi ngāue faingataʻá. Taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku foʻi vave ʻa e fānaú koeʻuhí ʻoku ʻikai ke nau ʻilo ʻa e founga ke fakakakato ai ha ngāue. Ko ia ʻi hono akoʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ki ha ngāue foʻou, e lava ke ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ʻa e founga ko ení. ʻUluakí, fai ʻe koe ʻa e ngāué kae sio hoʻo kiʻi tamá pea mo toki ngāue fakataha leva. Hokó, sio kae fai ʻe hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻa e ngāué pea ʻoatu ha ngaahi fokotuʻu ʻaonga. Fakaʻosí, tuku ho kiʻi tamá ke ne fakahoko kakato ʻa e ngāué ʻiate ia pē.

 Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “Kuó u fokotuʻu ʻa e sīpinga kiate kimoutolu, ke hangē tofu pē ko ia naʻá ku fai kiate kimoutolú, ʻoku totonu ke mou fai pehē foki.”​—Sione 13:15.

 “Mei heʻeku hokosiá, ko kitautolu ngaahi mātuʻá ʻoku fiemaʻu ke tau fokotuʻu ha faʻifaʻitakiʻanga lelei ʻo kapau ʻoku tau loto ke fakatupulekina ʻe heʻetau fānaú ʻa e kātakí. ʻOku totonu ke tau fakahāhā ʻa e ʻulungaanga ʻoku tau loto ke nau fakatupulekiná.”​—Doug.

 Tokoniʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke ne ʻiloʻi ko e tokotaha kotoa ʻoku nau fāinga pea aʻu ʻo foʻi. Vahevahe ʻa e ngaahi talanoa ʻi he taimi naʻá ke fāinga ai mo ha meʻa ka naʻá ke maʻu ʻaonga mei he ʻikai ke ke foʻí. Fakamatalaʻi ki hoʻo kiʻi tamá ko e anga-mahení ʻe faingataʻa ke kamataʻi ha ngāue foʻou pea ko e fai ʻa e ngaahi fehālaakí ʻe tokoni ia ke ne ako mei ai. Fakapapauʻi ki hoʻo kiʻi tamá ko e taʻelavameʻá ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fakasiʻia ai hoʻo ʻofa ʻiate iá. Hangē pē ko e tupu ʻa e uouá ʻi hono fakamālohisinoʻí, ʻoku pehē pē ʻa e tupulaki ʻa e malava hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke kītakí ʻi hono fakaʻatā ia ke ne fekuki mo e ngaahi polé. Ko ia ʻi he fehangahangai hoʻo kiʻi tamá mo ha pole, fakaʻatā ha taimi ke ne feinga ʻiate ia pē neongo ʻene loto-mamahí kae ʻikai ko hono tokoniʻi ia ʻi he taimi pē ko iá. “Ko e founga lelei taha ke hoko ai ha toʻutupu ʻo mālohi mo matuʻotuʻá,” ko e lau ia ʻa e tohi How Children Succeed, “ko e feinga ke fai ha meʻa ʻoku ngalingali heʻikai malava ke ne fakahoko ia.”

 Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “ʻOku lelei ki he tangata ke ne fua ʻa e ioke lolotonga ʻene kei talavou.”​—Tangilāulau 3:27, Paaki Foʻou.

 “ʻI hoʻo fakaʻatā ʻa e fānaú ke nau fakahoko ha ngāue faingataʻa ʻi ha vahaʻa taimi​—lolotonga iá ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau ongo mātuʻá ke tokoni​—ʻoku maʻu ʻaonga mei ai ʻa e fānaú. Hili ha vahaʻa taimi mei ai, heʻikai ke nau toe faingataʻaʻia pea te nau maʻu ʻa e pōtoʻi mo e loto-pau ʻa ia ko e ola ia ʻo e kītakí.”​—Jordan.

 Fakaongoongoleleiʻi ʻene feingá kae ʻikai ko ʻene potó. Ko e fakatātaá, ʻi he ʻikai ke tala ange, “Naʻe tōtōatu ho siví! ʻOkú ke poto ʻaupito,” ʻe lava ke ke tala ange, “Naʻe tōtōatu ho siví! ʻOku maongo moʻoni kiate au ʻa hoʻo ako mālohí.” Ko e hā ʻoku mahuʻinga ai ke fakaongoongoleleiʻi ʻa ʻene feingá kae ʻikai ko ʻene potó? Ko hono fakaongoongoleleiʻi ʻa e poto ʻa e fānaú “ʻoku ʻai ai heni ke nau veiveiua ʻiate kinautolu pē ʻi he hoko ha meʻa ʻoku faingataʻa pe ko ha fehālaaki,” ko e lau ia ʻa Toketā Carol Dweck. Naʻá ne hoko atu: “Kapau ʻoku loto ʻa e ngaahi mātuʻá ke ʻoange ki heʻenau fānaú ha meʻaʻofa, ko e meʻa lelei taha ʻe lava ke nau faí ko hono akoʻi ʻenau fānaú ke nau vakai ki he ngaahi polé ko ha meʻa lelei ia, ke ako mei he ngaahi fehālaakí, fiefia ʻi he ngāue mālohí, kumi ki ha ngaahi founga foʻou ke fakahoko ai ʻa e ngaahi meʻá pea hokohoko atu ʻa e akó. ʻI heʻenau fai ení, ʻe kei fiefia pē ʻa e fānaú ʻo tatau ai pē pe fakaongoongoleleiʻi kinautolu pe ʻikai.” b

 Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “[ʻOku] siviʻi ha taha ʻi he fakahīkihiki ʻoku fai kiate iá.”​—Palōveepi 27:21.